Attack Girls' Swim Team versus The Undead
Genre: LESBO Bikini Babes slaughtering the Zombie Horde!
review in one breath
Poor young Aki *barely* gets acclimated to her new school and the hot bods of her pals in the girl swim team before a strange virus erupts causing all hell to break loose. Fortunately, while blue-veined viral teachers are decapitating students with classroom paraphernalia and then devouring them, Aki and her new best friend Sayaka decide to kick some Zombie Butt, just as soon as they strip down and enjoy some pre-Zombie LESBO fun!
Well, as its title suggests, this film has a couple major things going for it: (1) Promiscuous and buxom girls who are either in their bathing suits or writhing naked atop one another, and (2) ZOMBIES! Unfortunately, it also has a few things which DON'T go well for it, things like plot, acting, logic and budget. So if you weren't sold at the mere mention of "Boobies and Zombies" (Boombies?), it may take some effort to truly appreciate the brilliant magnificence of Attack Girls Swim Team versus The Undead. (Ok, I admit: "brilliant magnificence" is way too generous.)
This is not director Kawano and screenwriter Owada's sole foray into the "girls and gore" genre. The year following this film they collaborated on Cruel Restaurant (2008 - Zankoku hanten), an enlightening tale about young ladies chopping up victims to supplement their patron's menu. Unlike that film, however, our young nymphoids are not placing the tastier portions of innocent bystanders in their dumplings (so to speak) but are serving up massive quantities of LESBO action and Zombie-Ass-Kicking!
Young Aki (played by soft-care starlette Sasa Handa - pictured) is a new transfer student to a relatively normal and hum-drum high school. To acclimate herself to the new setting, she joins the girls' swim team, enabling her to make new friends (and become intimately familiar with their bods in the locker room). Things are going swimmingly well until a strange virus outbreak turns the entire school into a flesh eating zombie fest. Luckily for Aki and her friends the pool's chlorine somehow rendered them immune, leaving them the sole survivors and only hope for (more lesbian scenes and) bringing some whoop-ass to an otherwise out of control situation.
Being greatly outnumbered by crazed teachers wielding razor sharp rulers and cute yet cannibalistic schoolgirls in short skirts and knee socks, the swim team's numbers quickly dwindle. It is in the heat of these moments when Aki's formerly blocked memories rise to the surface. Little did she realize that she was a killer mercenary, the product of a brutally strict training at the hands (and other parts) of a flute-playing perverted old man! As these memories gush back, so do her killer skills. And then Zombie heads and limbs really start flying, boys and girls.
But Brute Boobs alone may not suffice. Could it be that she has been betrayed by the nubile team mate whose pelvic region she had only moments prior so thoroughly embraced??
This is pretty low budget fare and promises only a bunch of sex, goofy (often comedic) zombies and a film title which simply cannot be ignored. The gore is exclusively low-cost schlock consisting of buckets of bright red blood and plastic limbs being gnawed. (The boobs, however, are genuine.) The film never takes itself seriously. Not for a minute, which makes this at the very least tolerable. It can easily pass for fun (in a train wreck sort of way) if you're into these Z-grade softcore horror flicks.
Version reviewed:Region 1 DVD with optional English subtitles. This is available in all mainstream venues.
|Uh, NO.||Plenty of creative low-budget schlock gore which will no doubt make you nostalgic with memories of the good old days when you showered with the girls' swim team.||Copius amounts of sex, mostly girl on girl, though with a few less than consensual situations involving perverted males (one with an orgasmic robotic hand). BOOMBIES!||You'd think a showdown between a lesbian swim team and promiscuous Zombie faculty would be a fairly straightforward thing. But NO! Throw in the mercenary training, vaginal lasers, BDSM gizmos and robotic hands and you've REALLY got a movie!|