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The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Spring Zombies vs Strippers 5 (Nakano Takao 2010)


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The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Spring Zombies vs Strippers 5
[Kyonyu doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippa 5

Genre:You guessed it! Tits, Zombies and Strippers!!

review in one breath

Sombrero-wearing tough girl stripper Rena has returned from Mexico only to find herself baring her wares in a seedy little strip joint in podunk Japan. And if the non-existent tips and octogenarian oglers weren't enough, Rena and her nudie compadres soon discover that the abandoned hot spring resort next door is littered with flesh eating ZOMBIES! Behold as our Breast-Baring Babes Battle the Brain-Eating Undead!


intro

Well here we all are, reading a review of a film entitled The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Spring Zombies vs Strippers 5! What could this film possibly be about? How about the film's plot? What intellectually challenging twists and surprises await the audience? And what poor attempt at meaningful yet witty analysis will SaruDama pull out of his sleeve this time?

Well, my friends, all these questions and more shall be answered within this review. In fact, I could likely answer nearly all those questions by simply repeating the film's title. In case you didn't catch it, it is: BIG TITS DRAGON:ZOMBIES VERSUS STRIPPERS. Now, if you still have questions regarding this film's plot, cinematic quality and cheese-ball factor, I recommend you repeat the title to yourself. Over and over. And one more time just to let it sink in.

Big Tits Dragon is intentionally an over-the-top B-grade schlock gore comedy horror involving, well, tits, zombies and strippers. The film was recently shown, in no less than 3-D mind you, at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival where it likely got picked up by some distributor for eventual release in the U.S. There seemed to be a lot of buzz regarding the film, in no small part due to its outrageous name I'm sure, and its stylized trailer is already available throughout the intertubes. The trailer is quite well done, coming across as comedic, creative and stylized in a Tarantino-esque 1970's grind house sort of way. That polished stylizing, however, does not appear in the film beyond the opening credits and instead presents audiences with fairly standard camera work and cinematography. As mentioned above, the film was shown at Cannes in 3-D. Not, of course, using polarized 3D like that recently found in Avatar, but old school analglyph, hearkening back to the 1950s and requiring those funky red and blue lensed cardboard glasses. And indeed you can currently purchase 3D versions of the Japanese DVD containing a tiny pair of these glasses should you care to look like a total Dweeb while watching this. Fortunately, the film is also available (on Japanese DVD) in standard display, which is what I got my hands on.

The film is based on the 2004 horror manga series by Rei Mikamoto entitled Konyu Dragon. And yes, "Konyu Dragon" can be literally translated as "Big Tits Dragon". The comic centers on a buxom heroine who faces and battles various hordes of ghoulies and zombies. The target audience is fairly easy to identify: My guess would be Otaku with an interest in horror and bOObs. Following the basic premise of Mikamoto's comic, the film introduces and then follows the buxom stripper Rena as she and her fellow burlesquers inadvertently awaken and subsequently battle hordes of breast-loving, stripper-eating Zombies. Like the comic, the film is a heroine tale, playing spaghetti western musical scores whenever Rena (who wears a sombrero, by the way) kicks into her chainsaw-wielding action.

The film is written and directed by Takao Nakano, who is also responsible for many other, often horror, bOOb-filled films. That list includes the ExorSister series (Cho-yoma densetsu Uratsuki-doji, 1994), Sumo Vixens (1996) and Queen Bee Honey (2001). Prior to Big Tits, his Magnum Opus was undoubtedly Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy (2004), a sci-fi horror tale involving a parasite which takes up residence in a young woman, resulting in her possession of a, well, Killer Pussy. (That should not be confused with the Flame-Throwing Pussy appearing in this film, however!) All that to say, director Nakano is definitely in familiar territory with this foray into strippers and zombies.The lead heroine Rena is played by Sola Aoi, former adult porn actress gone mainstream. Despite her somewhat seedy acting origins, Aoi has starred in several more films you may (or may not) be familiar with: Erotic Ghost: Siren (2004), Man, Woman and the Wall (2006), and Memories of Matsuko (2006). And Rena's stripper side-kick Ginko is played by the super-sexy adult/porn starlette Risa Kasumi.

The full Japanese title for the film is "Kyonyu doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippa 5". That numeral 5 trailing at the end does not imply that there are four sequels to this film. Rather, it is an arcane way to denote "five strippers". And indeed there are five strippers, one for every flavor of stripper preference. There is the sombrero and cowboy boot wearing Westernized Rena. There is the tough, thuggish Ginko. There is the devil horn adorned Goth Lolita Maria. There is the naive, foreign-ish rural Okinawan Dana. There's even Nene for those who prefer the more mature, weather-worn Mama-san type. Together these five, some more successfully than the others, must grab a weapon and feather boa to fend of the Zombie horde.

story

Following her travels in Mexico, stripper Rena finds herself aimlessly back in Japan. The only employment opportunity presenting itself is at the small, barely attended Paradise strip joint in the far rural outskirts of Tokyo. Begrudgingly, she shows up and meets her four other fellow strippers and the lone octogenarian in the audience.

But our bored strippers' predicament will quickly change when they discover a secret basement room in the adjacent abandoned hot spring resort. The room is piled high with occult paraphernalia, all surrounding a rather ominous well clearly marked as the "Demon's Gateway". Stripper Maria, whose lifestyle clearly leans toward that of devilish Goth, excitedly finds an ancient tome amidst the many darkly curious artifacts. Opening the old leather-bound volume, she eagerly and dramatically reads aloud one of the more potent incantations, a spell which summons the Lord of the Undead! The climax of that reading turns out to be rather anti-climactic, as nothing happens and the girls decide to shuffle back upstairs for their next depressing performance.

BUT WAIT! Could the spell actually have had its effect?? Not until they are attacked by their dinner's mackerel and sushi do they realize that something very fishy is afoot. While pondering the implications of their vehement, flying sushi, they discover to their horror that the audience for the next tittie performance is overflowing with customers.... UNDEAD, BRAIN-EATING CUSTOMERS!!

Will our Nipple-Baring Heroines survive the demonic and literally "die-hard" fans they have themselves unleashed? Will Rena once again wake up in bed with a midget after a long night of binge drinking? WILL FIRE REALLY SHOOT OUT OF THAT VAGINA!!??

Only those who dare enter the world of Big Tits Dragon will ever know for sure!

verdict

All told, this was a pretty entertaining film. Its definitely aimed at a certain type of audience, but may very well have a slightly wider appeal due to its sheer campiness. The comedic dialogue amidst often absurd situations is perhaps the film's strong suit. The screenplay seems well done and was truly funny is spots. Visually, the films is not as stellar as its trailer suggests. There are a handful of outdoor scenes which are filtered nicely, but the majority of the storyline takes place indoors utilizing sets which are bargain basement at best. These scenes are shot standard, unstylized and unfiltered, with little or nothing to remark on.

The props and effects are also shoe string, though their comedic factor is clearly intended to be in the foreground. Rena's use of the chainsaw to literally hack zombies in half, the nude "sushi" scenes, the nod to tentacle hentai, the bikini sumo wrestling, the less than enthusiastic strip show dance routines, and the flame-throwing VaJayJays all add up to low budget eye candy for viewers. And it is in fact fun. The zombies and schlocky-schlock gore are all hokey at best, but anyone approaching a film with a title like this can't honestly be expecting much more.

This is a very low-brow, low-budget fun and funny film. Everyone loves bOObs and everyone loves Zombies. In Big Tits Dragon you can literally have your bOObs and eat them too!

Version reviewed: Region 2 DVD - Japanese Language only. (This was shown at the 2010 Cannes Festival and thus will likely be available in Region 1 somewhere down the line.)

cultural interest violence sex strangeness
I guess if we consider Zombies and Strippers in 3-D a cultural asset, then by all means, Two Culture Skulls!. Oodles of schlocky, schlocky, over-the-top gore, including oozing Zombie Sushi!. No time for sex when you're battling Brain-Eaters. Fortunately though, there IS time for strip-tease, bOOb-filled cat fights, and plenty of sexy poses. This is a witty and visually entertaining foray into intentionally B-Grade Schlock-Fest Horror. Oh, And a Flame-throwing VaJayJay!!

1 Comments


This movie "Big Tits Dragon" looks and sounds too funny to be true (of course it isn't true). I will buy it as soon as it is available on DVD with English subtitles. And at a low price (I'm a notorious cheapskate, got a GREAT deal on "Hino's Theatre of Horror").

Sarudama, one of the greatest websites there is!

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