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Versus

Genre: Extreme Zombie Action

review in one breath

When you exempt the mega-budget/block-buster stuff of Peter Jackson, Steven Spielberg, and the Wachowski brothers, what movies come to mind as jaw-dropping entertainment? Well, director Ryuhei Kitamura's Versus is now at the top of that list. Of course you and I are different (for example, we can both agree I am better looking) and so our lists of "most memorable" may indeed differ. So let me qualify this praise. For those interested in non-stop, full-throttle action involving, yakuza, zombies, karmic cycles, sinister priests, human sacrifice, revenge themes, and limb-hacking extraordinaire, this will likely top your list as well.

Stacy
[Stacy: Attack of the Schoolgirl Zombies]

Genre: Schlock Gore Zombie Fest

review in one breath

Wow! What a gore-fest this is!

The world as we know it is in utter chaos due to the inexplicable, sudden transformation of all girls ages 15 to 17 into blood-thirsty zombies! Not only does this significantly curtail procreation amid a plummeting world population, it also necessitates the widespread annihilation of these girlie undead lest they consume every remaining man, woman and child! (And consume they will!)

Nama Gomi: Shitaiiki
[Raw Garbage: The Abandoned Corpse]

Genre: Zombie Pornography

review in one breath

To those who have seen this film, it will be no surprise to learn that director Murata Keiichiro went on to produce two adult films immediately following Nama Gomi. Also of no surprise is the title of one of those films, Uniformed Girls. I say these will be of no surprise since easily two-thirds of Nama Gomi is prolonged sex scenes, many of which involve the classic Japanese fantasy of uniformed nurses. In fact, this film has so much sex in it that things like dialogue and plot are merely distractions from the true purpose of this film, which seems to be to provide an illustrated guide to a variety of erotic fantasies and sexual positions. (!!!)

JUNK
[Shiryou Gari]

Genre: ZombOObie Fest

review in one breath

The world is a dark place indeed when you can't trust heavily mustached U.S. army generals in charge of secret experimental laboratories tucked away in the interior of Okinawa Island. And pity the naive Japanese biochemist whose deep sense of loss and sorrow over the recent death of his (amazingly) buxom girlfriend causes him to blindly follow the evil schemes of aforesaid general aimed at developing a fluorescent green elixir which brings the dead back to life. And pity the entire population of Okinawa when despite great expenditures of technology and man hours, the U.S. army fails to consider putting their fluorescent zombie potion in a bottle with a spill-resistant screw cap. But NO... you say, we ought not judge these soon-to-be-munched scientists with our 20/20 hindsight. For if they had simply put this potion in a spill-proof bottle the entire movie would have come to a screeching halt after only 5 minutes.

Down to Hell

Genre: Extreme Zombie Action

review in one breath

Four violent delinquents have established for themselves a "simple" game of survival, which starts with a terrifying chase and kidnapping of an unsuspecting victim along isolated urban streets, and ends with an all-out, literal, man hunt wherein the four assailants methodically track down the victim as he desparately flees through dense, remote forest. When all hope for the victim's survival is lost, a strange. unseen power overtakes the corpse, turning it into the hellish means of ultimate retribution. As the delinquents are eliminated in gruesome ways one by one, the horror is only beginning, as each of the dead begin their hellish resurrection in order to pursue the remaining assailants.

Doll Cemetery
[Occult tanteidan: Shiningyou no Hakaba]

Genre: Killer Dolls, Clowns from Hell, and ZOMBIES!!

review in one breath

A group of emo high school kids start an "Occult Detective Club" in order to explore and solve paranormal phenomena. No sooner do they set their minds to this than they fall headlong into into a supernatural abyss of vengeful zombie dolls intent on exacting fatal retribution for Barbie-neglect. This is the fourth tale in the "Hino Hideshi Theater of Horror" hexology.