Well here we all are, reading a review of a film entitled The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Spring Zombies vs Strippers 5! What could this film possibly be about? How about the film’s plot? What intellectually challenging twists and surprises await the audience? And what poor attempt at meaningful yet witty analysis will SaruDama pull out of his sleeve this time?
Well, my friends, all these questions and more shall be answered within this review. In fact, I could likely answer nearly all those questions by simply repeating the film’s title. In case you didn’t catch it, it is: BIG TITS DRAGON:ZOMBIES VERSUS STRIPPERS. Now, if you still have questions regarding this film’s plot, cinematic quality and cheese-ball factor, I recommend you repeat the title to yourself. Over and over. And one more time just to let it sink in.
Big Tits Dragon is intentionally an over-the-top B-grade schlock gore comedy horror involving, well, tits, zombies and strippers. The film was recently shown, in no less than 3-D mind you, at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival where it likely got picked up by some distributor for eventual release in the U.S. There seemed to be a lot of buzz regarding the film, in no small part due to its outrageous name I’m sure, and its stylized trailer is already available throughout the intertubes. The trailer is quite well done, coming across as comedic, creative and stylized in a Tarantino-esque 1970’s grind house sort of way. That polished stylizing, however, does not appear in the film beyond the opening credits and instead presents audiences with fairly standard camera work and cinematography. As mentioned above, the film was shown at Cannes in 3-D. Not, of course, using polarized 3D like that recently found in Avatar, but old school analglyph, hearkening back to the 1950s and requiring those funky red and blue lensed cardboard glasses. And indeed you can currently purchase 3D versions of the Japanese DVD containing a tiny pair of these glasses should you care to look like a total Dweeb while watching this. Fortunately, the film is also available (on Japanese DVD) in standard display, which is what I got my hands on.
The film is based on the 2004 horror manga series by Rei Mikamoto entitled Konyu Dragon. And yes, “Konyu Dragon” can be literally translated as “Big Tits Dragon”. The comic centers on a buxom heroine who faces and battles various hordes of ghoulies and zombies. The target audience is fairly easy to identify: My guess would be Otaku with an interest in horror and bOObs. Following the basic premise of Mikamoto’s comic, the film introduces and then follows the buxom stripper Rena as she and her fellow burlesquers inadvertently awaken and subsequently battle hordes of breast-loving, stripper-eating Zombies. Like the comic, the film is a heroine tale, playing spaghetti western musical scores whenever Rena (who wears a sombrero, by the way) kicks into her chainsaw-wielding action.
The film is written and directed by Takao Nakano, who is also responsible for many other, often horror, bOOb-filled films. That list includes the ExorSister series (Cho-yoma densetsu Uratsuki-doji, 1994), Sumo Vixens (1996) and Queen Bee Honey (2001). Prior to Big Tits, his Magnum Opus was undoubtedly Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy (2004), a sci-fi horror tale involving a parasite which takes up residence in a young woman, resulting in her possession of a, well, Killer Pussy. (That should not be confused with the Flame-Throwing Pussy appearing in this film, however!) All that to say, director Nakano is definitely in familiar territory with this foray into strippers and zombies.The lead heroine Rena is played by Sola Aoi, former adult porn actress gone mainstream. Despite her somewhat seedy acting origins, Aoi has starred in several more films you may (or may not) be familiar with: Erotic Ghost: Siren (2004), Man, Woman and the Wall (2006), and Memories of Matsuko (2006). And Rena’s stripper side-kick Ginko is played by the super-sexy adult/porn starlette Risa Kasumi.
The full Japanese title for the film is “Kyonyu doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippa 5”. That numeral 5 trailing at the end does not imply that there are four sequels to this film. Rather, it is an arcane way to denote “five strippers”. And indeed there are five strippers, one for every flavor of stripper preference. There is the sombrero and cowboy boot wearing Westernized Rena. There is the tough, thuggish Ginko. There is the devil horn adorned Goth Lolita Maria. There is the naive, foreign-ish rural Okinawan Dana. There’s even Nene for those who prefer the more mature, weather-worn Mama-san type. Together these five, some more successfully than the others, must grab a weapon and feather boa to fend of the Zombie horde.
